I pull tee-shirts
off my skin. A woman looks
at me the way the angled mirrors fracture
my body into a thousand kaleidoscopic
petals. I never found desire
hiding under rows
of dresses. My mind wanders
back to a time when I etched stick figures
into worn school desks. Stiff bodies, lines
for clothing, ungendered. I don’t mean
to philosophize at you—
but a sneer follows
the woman’s voice
in Alexander’s department store
when she questions
me Are you in the right
dressing room trying to size up
my body parts under a winter jacket
and loose jeans. Out of style, I’d like to pass
over this life as a sparrow, blending in
with grasses & weeds. If a sparrow is confused
by its reflections, staring at a prism
with distorted images, would it believe
it shouldn’t exist or that it has another
self, hidden beneath its feathers?
Carla S. Schick is a queer, nonbinary social justice activist. Their writings are inspired by the complexities of jazz to get at emotions in the intersections of political and personal events. They stand in solidarity with Palestinians in their anti-colonial struggle. Their writings can be found in Sinister Wisdom, Fourteen Hills, Black Fox Literary Magazine, Qu, Querencia Press, and anthologized in Colossus: Body. They are a 2023 recipient of a SF Foundation/Nomadic Press Literary Award. They are forever grateful to the professors at Berkeley City College with whom they studied, earning a Certificate in Poetry.