DEFLOWERING
after Ocean Vuong
Is the pressure okay?/ does a Vietnamese woman know what to do with this blackbody?/back facing up/scarred skin greeting whispering waterfalls/quaint bird chatter/she gasps at the sticky cotton bulbs flowering from beneath muscle/be gentle i tell her/they were my great great grandmother’s/callused knuckles dig/grinding into my mama’s lovehandles/affirming my less than manly, curvy stature/i squirm at her touch/is the pressure okay?/i make it so/peeling thumbs in the lowest of my spine/she wants to unbend our rounded back/willow leaves unfurl/their tears hiss when meeting burned skin/chainlink printed ankles/my feet smell of rust/highway stink/imprinted maps from cracked heel to callus/Sweden becomes Louise, Mississippi/is Chicago, is Jackson/poor lady/i know she ain’t plan on migrating today/flip over she says/i turn us over slowly/i wait for the wince/the quiet step back/the short take in of air/dirty-handed realization/prepare to gather our bags/she caresses the two buck moth caterpillars laid across my chest/is the pressure okay?/i must make it so/since the fatty masses are no longer there/grandfather’s clay ditch runs from liver to left center of daddy’s heart/glass bottles now row crops/burrowed and budding/a smell of ferment/she works around it/knows not to fill it/i don’t dare open my eyes/i talk back to the birds instead/it is so tight here/she wrestles my shoulders from ears to neck/have you tried cupping?/i steal a look between grunts/poor lady/red stained milkflower petals peek out from under her scrubs/faded scar branches/leaking bomb craters for pores/the skin around it rubbed red raw/it is no wonder that she knows how to soothe this blackbody/for we are watered by the saliva of the same beast.
Amari Amai is a black transmasculine poet, actor, and educator, born and raised in Chicago. They have been a poet in residence with the Chicago Poetry Center, a Watering Hole ‘23 fellow, and a Periplus Collective ’24 fellow. Their work has received support and fellowships from Tin House, Sundress Academy for the Arts, and Vermont Studio Center. As a Great Migration baby with roots in Jackson, Mississippi, their work can be described as “queer Southern Gothic” with Afrofuturist influence. They are currently at work on their debut poetry collection, with poems forthcoming in Callaloo. You can find out more about the multidisciplinary artist at amariamai.com.